THE ART OF GIVING

Do you remember once in your lifetime that you have done a righteous thing by way of giving? Do you remember the phrase, "It is better to give than to receive." Some of us did it differently. They give a little and wanted to receive more. They liked to own all of it and share less or not at all and that's greediness. They were only thinking of their own self-interest. It was hard for them to give even the excess of what they have in life.

But there are others who have a soft heart for the needy. They are willing to give even if it is only enough for their family. To those who have no desire to give did not fully understand that wealth is only a temporary material things they cannot hold forever. When they are gone, even a piece of paper they cannot bring it to their grave. Not even the wealth helps to put their life back when it is time to go for good.

Being a Samaritan is a behavior by heart. There was a wonderful feeling by just giving. It gives you pleasure. You cannot think of other things except what was in your mind is how you can help them in a simple way. This strange behavior only found in a privilege few. They were happy to give any little help for the benefit of others.

I know a friend whose life was hanging in a balance. He earned a little in his on and off job as carpenter. He had a family of three to support yet if someone asked him for help especially in emergencies he is willing to give. He helped him a little to share as a sign of concern, understanding and pity. I asked him why? He said it was already his habit to give. He believed there are still many people out there like him who has the same intention to help other people. He said he was more happy if those rich people can do the same. I was touched by his art of giving. Sometimes I felt guilty of not doing what he did. I now realized that those people who were gifted to give has less in life and also has their own suffering and problem to attend. He said he may not be rewarded today what good thing he had done to the lives of other men. But in the next life, he may be recognized for what he shared to others and that was already a blessing for him.

CHECKLIST BEFORE MARRIAGE

Check if there are agreement between both of you about mutual respect and understanding. Ask yourself now what makes a strong marriage. Does a good marriage require to have qualities, loyalty, faithfulness and fidelity? Many marriages wanted to treat each other equal. They are not treating each other as inferior because marriage will never be successful.

If both of you have objection about strong commitment then don't pursue your desire to get married. The future of that relationship is bleak. Commitment means surrendering yourself totally to your agreement that you will share each other for better or for worse.

Have an honest talk about each of your individual responsibilities at home. If you are both working outside your home, sharing of responsibilities in household chores is one way to avoid a conflict. Know all your household chores. List them down. Go over with them. Then talk to her which one of this chores is for you and for her. Establish a better sharing. This will be your responsibility to be agreed by both of you before you walk down in the aisle.

Each one of you are expecting that when you got married you will have a child. Plan ahead especially if you are both working. Agree about the nurturing of the child. If you decided to put your child in the hands of someone, then go on. If your wife is willing to sacrifice her career and concentrate the task of caring the child is a better choice and more acceptable. The child must grow close to his parents. Doing the parenting should be done by the mother herself rather than handled by other person being hired.

Many marriage couple always fight about proper use of money. If the husband are spending too much even if it is not necessary, quarrel will occur. Saving a little and spending too much will not bring a good result. Avoid doing a poor money management. If you are saving more and spending less then the family will be happy. You will no longer have problem about money in time of your great necessity.

Before you get married it must have a blessing from your both parents. Sometimes, the parents of the girl controlled the life of their daughter or your parents for you. Try to win the heart of the father of your girlfriend. Show them that you are good enough to be their daughter's husband otherwise there will be a hindrance in your union when your parents will control both of you.

Check your potential spouse if she showed personal integrity. Is she dishonest and liar? Talk to yourself the same question. Lying behavior can causes damaging consequences in marriage.

One good chance for marital success is having a strong foundation, values and culture. Is she religious in her character and in her faith? Does your girlfriend is more mature, responsible and dedicated?

Long time intimacy is much better than a short one to give a little space to discover compatibility in your behavior knowing of your likes and dislikes. Many hidden behavior will often come out only after marriage.

If you are willing to follow this advices then you have a great chance that your marriage will be a fruitful one.