THE LIFE OF A SINGLE MAN

He wanted to be alone. He doesn’t want responsibility. He was happy in his present state. He had different belief how to live. Being alone was enough. He doesn’t want to care for others. He only cared for himself. He did not even plan to raise a family. Whatever his purpose of getting away from the society where he belong was his choice. The choice that is contrary to other belief that a man can't live alone without someone at his side. He had different views.

Commitment is one of the reasons why some people don't want to make a wise decision. They are afraid that they cannot raise a family properly. They are worried of total failure thinking that they cannot even support their own. The negative perception restrained them to decide what is best for them believing that they will be blame if they cannot response effectively to the expectation of others in his capacity to support his own family.

There are others who don't want to get involve because he is afraid to face any challenge. He has no interest. He just wanted to be an easy-go-lucky man without direction, ambition and plan for his future. He relied only in the present. He doesn’t want for a change. This is the reason why he cannot increase his level of income because he doesn’t want try to change his direction. 

He just relied in his family for his need even if he already old enough to find a life of his own. That's the problem of some of us, we always dependent to other person for support. This attitude is one of the hindrances to live a life full of hope, ambition and satisfaction.

The problem is how he manages when he aged? Can he still able to support his own? How he can manage when he became very old? Who will take care of him? If his life expire in due time then who will remember him? Time flies so fast.

It is better if he change now in order to grow. There is still time to decide to have someone he can turn to. He should focus only in one direction to be a family man. He should not afraid to face the test along the way. He has to show his effort and his worth. He should make his life to become worthwhile. We believe it is not too late for a change.

THE DEADLY EFFECT OF OVERSPENDING

Obsession to certain things makes anyone happy but sad. He is happy because he abled to buy one that fascinated him. At the same time, he was sad because it added another credit to his account. His impulsiveness hurt his pocket. He had not given his family they comfort they deserved as he lived in his own extravagance.

He bought something not so important due to his addiction to it. He yearned for sudden gratification to satisfy his cravings to own one. He has no control over his obsession. He got what he wanted. He allowed too much spending to rule and ruin his life. He has no idea the long-term effect it caused to his family as if he has no concern for them. What it concern him is on how to get money from somewhere to respond to his selfish need. It seemed he was not contented in one buy. More buys makes a joy inside him.

This was the problem in modern civilization wherein new technology created many things that fancied us. We wanted to follow the lifestyle of other people with leaving a little for the family. It becomes habitual acts the hardest to control.

Compulsive buying is only good for rich people. They can afford whatever they wanted what their heart desires. They can buy almost everything to satisfy their materialistic behavior.  If those people living in middle of poverty line who insist they can afford, its craziness.  Why allow to be in the verge of hardship when they have the ability to prevent it to happen. It’s just a matter of common sense. 

We should not let our mind to go beyond good reason. There should be openness to measure what is right and not to have a wrong turn. If we don’t have outstanding credit, it might be possible. We are confident and have sense of peace. It will not give us stress to look another meal of the day for the family. It is great relief if everything is in order.

Spending unreasonably is the sum total of deep-rooted uncontrollable emotion that causes us on impulsive buying. It was the source of our trouble. Surrendering to the claw of our wants and needs makes life miserable. There is uncertainty for survival due to overspending. It does more harm than good.

There were other reasons that triggered overspending. In the time of our distress and period of grief we tend to buy unnecessarily to calm down the feeling of loss even for the brief period of time. It also happened if we are on the verge of our outburst to someone in conflict seeking interruption through compulsive buying.

Most often the problem started when you spend more than you able to pay.  Your credit card tempted you to spend more. Your headache starts when it is time to pay especially if you don’t have enough cash in your hands to pay for the purchases not including other outstanding accounts that worry you. You are on the edge of frustration where to go and the person that will save you in your helplessness. You can’t talk straight because of your confusion and anger without realizing you are the one that causes it.

Conflict among husband and wife begins when one of them lied to the condition of their savings. There were disbursements that were not agreed by both. One of them already hooked being a compulsive buyer. Their savings was dwindling without the knowledge of one of them until almost all had been consumed when it was known. The hell broke loose, someone is to blame. Marriage is on the rock, separation is imminent.

If you intend to be one of them, don’t be too shortsighted. You can make your own prevention if you intend to do what is right and honest to yourself. If you follow this tips, you will not regret it instead it give you peace of mind without worries about financial matters:

-Determine the possible triggers that will tempt you to buy unreasonably.

-Share portion of your salary every month as your savings helpful during emergency situation.

-Never rely the use of credit card in all your bigger purchases. You will surely overshoot to your credit limit or your capacity to pay.

-Avoid passing or entering to your favorite store department that will make you wild to make haste buying.

-If you feel the uncontrollable impulse upon seeing your favorite object, stay away from it immediately.

-Bring only cash needed for purchases of the basic commodity items. You can estimate the amount you will bring during shopping based on your grocery list.

-Request someone (child/husband) to accompany you while shopping. This is to disrupt you from deciding by yourself.

-Make grocery list before going to store. Buy only what you listed to prevent picking items not on the list.

-Keep in mind that you have to prioritize your expenses on basic commodities needed at home. The not-so important items should be decided later and should be given much thought of its usefulness before purchasing it.

-If you are heavy stress or angry, calm yourself down slowly in several minutes but not take the option of buying just to ebb away the feeling.

There are still many ways how to control your pleasure of compulsive buying. The only important thing to bear in mind is strict control. If you pass the test then you’ll never be in despair of having no money in your purse.

MAINTAINING A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP

A good relationship among friends, neighbors, marriages and sweethearts will last if you want to keep it longer. Once it severed for a simple reason, such intimate relationship will never be the same again, it may even get worse. Good relationship should be preserved, prospered and pampered. It should be kept to blossom to be able to flower. Close connection with other people has many advantages.

 It is easy to ask from someone close to you or seek an advise on your physical and emotional problems. They can be relied during period of financial difficulties. They are willing to help you as long as they can afford. They can even protect you from someone threating your life. Some people are even willing to sacrifice for the sake of friendship. That’s how good relationship meant to all of us.

 Ask yourself, can you keep it to last?

If you enter into a new relationship with special someone, see to it that you have the ability to make it to last for a long time. Make it right for the first time. If something went wrong in your relationship, find the reason of the misunderstanding and be sure that the cause is not coming from you. You can’t hold a relationship if your partner is not sincere to his commitment. Find ways to save it. If no good result is coming despite your efforts, be ready to give up. He may  not be the right man for you.

 If he is sincere, he himself will initiate the first step to patch up the differences as he was the cause. His silence means he doesn’t love you anymore. Let him be free. It is better to feel the pain now and regain your consciousness rather than maintaining your suffering for long period of time. It’s useless and it doesn’t worth a sacrifice. If he doesn’t want you anymore, so be it. Don’t let yourself be affected too much if it happens. You can still find someone who is honest and sincere to his words.

If all the heartaches are gone, make new relationship and hope it will not be another pain to you. Observe the behavior of your new partner if he can be relied on. You will know deep inside if he is really loves you. Observe his reaction to a simple misunderstanding common to a relationship. If he can initiate the first step to patch up any little and simple conflict then he is different if he immediately feels sorry of his shortcomings.

Let your love keep burning. Let your partner know that you loved him and care for him always. Always stay connected with your partner. Maintain your togetherness at all times but with honest restraint. A man is always a man if given the chance.

Don’t prolong a simple misunderstanding. Control your negative feeling to take place. Stay positive and make the relationship to prosper. Don’t talk with your partner about your past relationship. What is past should remain to be past. It is not wise recalling the pain of the past. You already overcome it then all you have to do is to maintain and focus your attention to your new relationship.

Ask yourself, what the relationship will lead your life? Are you willing to marry him for good? You have to determine your common purpose of such a relationship. There should be a direction so that you will know what will be your part in your relationship with him. Ask him the same thing so that you will be aware of his position before entering into a long and challenging commitment.

A relationship is not always perfect as what you thought. There is always ups and downs and you must ready for it. Don’t be caught in the web of surrendering your feeling. There’s always a solution in any disagreement if you let your eyes open. Only respect is needed in fixing whatever issues that give you headache. Talk to him often. Both of you will solve the problem at hand. Don’t react to minor problem immediately. Lengthen your patience and talk to him seriously. Work toward the solution together. It is very hard to get things right if one of you will not give up.

If your partner experienced a personal problem not intentionally done he can’t handle alone, be supportive of what he gone through. Be sure not in any way blame your partner for everything for his mistakes. Give all the support he need. Listen and understand your partner’s situation. H will be able to realize how you care for him. Handle it maturely and rationally. It must be resolve in most productive ways.

Secure your good relationship at all times. Share whatever problems at hand. If the foundation of your relationship is strong then it will endure to last long. It is just a matter of putting more weight to its value.

HOW TO HANDLE FAILED RELATIONSHIP

Failed relationship is one of the menaces of social structure. It has been known that there was an increase in the percentage of failed relationship in modern society. Even the known personalities of the world did not escape from the pen of media people writing the cause of their break-up. It has been the hot topic in many magazines and even sensationalized it to be noticed.

Men were the actor of most failed marriages. If there was a 3^rd party involved in a relationship, hell breaks loose. This is the starting point of repeated quarrel between husbands and wives. This is the beginning of sour relationship that mostly led to marital breakdown.

Even young adults at the first place of their relationship still threatened for a break-up if one of them done something that will breach close understanding. Most women were affected of the immoral values of men. Their children suffered from their separation. Increased juvenile delinquent children came from this level due to laxity in supervising their growth years. They became the problem of the community on how to bring the problematic children to reform their unwelcome behavior.

If it happened that you are one of those unfortunate few of having failed relationship, how do you handle them?

Your heart was so deep draining your energy to the lowest ladder. There was emptiness within you as if there is heaviness in the chest. You don’t want to talk to anybody. You wanted to be alone in your solitary room thinking the pain and discouragement that the sweetness of togetherness you felt before with your partner was replaced with hate and anger.

Your goodness was abused and disregarded your feeling. It took you a long time to be able to recover from your pain. It started to make your stronger to handle your feelings. Your experience give you time to think more deeply before looking for another relationship. It motivated you to be careful in choosing your mate. It improved yourself how to handle your feeling in case of another break-up.

In choosing your mate, have a clear vision. Consider everything you need to know about him. Bear in mind, there’s no perfect marriage if one of you has no desire to prolong the relationship, only those that has highest regard to respect and be honest. Know what you want and what to expect from him. He may be honest at first but how long? Consider all those expectation. Don’t give all your trust to him, reserve something for you. If he gives you heartache at least you are prepared for the worst. Don’t just sit on the corner defend what is right for you. 

 To feel affected miserably will only ruin you. He just laughed at you. Instead go on with your life. Show to him that you live happy without him. It may be hard at first but there’s nothing you can do instead accept the reality that you are not meant to each other. Pick-up yourself and kick-out all those frustration and you will know later that you are right in your decision of forgetting him slowly in your memory.

If you already failed twice it might not be the 3^rd. Don’t close your option to love again. Seek your happiness, who knows it may be your last.

Another way of handling your frustration is to find ways to distract you from your loneliness. Socialize and be with your friends. You may have to add another friend in your list. Work harder and finish whatever commitment is hanging. Focus your attention from your emotional burden.

If you believed you can’t handle your pain, seek counseling to some expert. It may help your mind to relax and at peace. Increase your self-confidence to be higher to make you strong from your frustration and discouragement. Improve your spiritual outlook to a better, healthy mental and emotional balance so that the emotional pressure can be minimized.

Any disturbing emotion you feel should be taken away from your heart. Avoid building negative feelings instead focus to a more constructive endeavor. Don’t allow yourself to be slave to your emotion. Find your happiness and leave all those painful memories away from you.