HOW TO HANDLE FAILED RELATIONSHIP

Failed relationship is one of the menaces of social structure. It has been known that there was an increase in the percentage of failed relationship in modern society. Even the known personalities of the world did not escape from the pen of media people writing the cause of their break-up. It has been the hot topic in many magazines and even sensationalized it to be noticed.

Men were the actor of most failed marriages. If there was a 3^rd party involved in a relationship, hell breaks loose. This is the starting point of repeated quarrel between husbands and wives. This is the beginning of sour relationship that mostly led to marital breakdown.

Even young adults at the first place of their relationship still threatened for a break-up if one of them done something that will breach close understanding. Most women were affected of the immoral values of men. Their children suffered from their separation. Increased juvenile delinquent children came from this level due to laxity in supervising their growth years. They became the problem of the community on how to bring the problematic children to reform their unwelcome behavior.

If it happened that you are one of those unfortunate few of having failed relationship, how do you handle them?

Your heart was so deep draining your energy to the lowest ladder. There was emptiness within you as if there is heaviness in the chest. You don’t want to talk to anybody. You wanted to be alone in your solitary room thinking the pain and discouragement that the sweetness of togetherness you felt before with your partner was replaced with hate and anger.

Your goodness was abused and disregarded your feeling. It took you a long time to be able to recover from your pain. It started to make your stronger to handle your feelings. Your experience give you time to think more deeply before looking for another relationship. It motivated you to be careful in choosing your mate. It improved yourself how to handle your feeling in case of another break-up.

In choosing your mate, have a clear vision. Consider everything you need to know about him. Bear in mind, there’s no perfect marriage if one of you has no desire to prolong the relationship, only those that has highest regard to respect and be honest. Know what you want and what to expect from him. He may be honest at first but how long? Consider all those expectation. Don’t give all your trust to him, reserve something for you. If he gives you heartache at least you are prepared for the worst. Don’t just sit on the corner defend what is right for you. 

 To feel affected miserably will only ruin you. He just laughed at you. Instead go on with your life. Show to him that you live happy without him. It may be hard at first but there’s nothing you can do instead accept the reality that you are not meant to each other. Pick-up yourself and kick-out all those frustration and you will know later that you are right in your decision of forgetting him slowly in your memory.

If you already failed twice it might not be the 3^rd. Don’t close your option to love again. Seek your happiness, who knows it may be your last.

Another way of handling your frustration is to find ways to distract you from your loneliness. Socialize and be with your friends. You may have to add another friend in your list. Work harder and finish whatever commitment is hanging. Focus your attention from your emotional burden.

If you believed you can’t handle your pain, seek counseling to some expert. It may help your mind to relax and at peace. Increase your self-confidence to be higher to make you strong from your frustration and discouragement. Improve your spiritual outlook to a better, healthy mental and emotional balance so that the emotional pressure can be minimized.

Any disturbing emotion you feel should be taken away from your heart. Avoid building negative feelings instead focus to a more constructive endeavor. Don’t allow yourself to be slave to your emotion. Find your happiness and leave all those painful memories away from you.

CHECKLIST BEFORE MARRIAGE

Check if there are agreement between both of you about mutual respect and understanding. Ask yourself now what makes a strong marriage. Does a good marriage require to have qualities, loyalty, faithfulness and fidelity? Many marriages wanted to treat each other equal. They are not treating each other as inferior because marriage will never be successful.

If both of you have objection about strong commitment then don't pursue your desire to get married. The future of that relationship is bleak. Commitment means surrendering yourself totally to your agreement that you will share each other for better or for worse.

Have an honest talk about each of your individual responsibilities at home. If you are both working outside your home, sharing of responsibilities in household chores is one way to avoid a conflict. Know all your household chores. List them down. Go over with them. Then talk to her which one of this chores is for you and for her. Establish a better sharing. This will be your responsibility to be agreed by both of you before you walk down in the aisle.

Each one of you are expecting that when you got married you will have a child. Plan ahead especially if you are both working. Agree about the nurturing of the child. If you decided to put your child in the hands of someone, then go on. If your wife is willing to sacrifice her career and concentrate the task of caring the child is a better choice and more acceptable. The child must grow close to his parents. Doing the parenting should be done by the mother herself rather than handled by other person being hired.

Many marriage couple always fight about proper use of money. If the husband are spending too much even if it is not necessary, quarrel will occur. Saving a little and spending too much will not bring a good result. Avoid doing a poor money management. If you are saving more and spending less then the family will be happy. You will no longer have problem about money in time of your great necessity.

Before you get married it must have a blessing from your both parents. Sometimes, the parents of the girl controlled the life of their daughter or your parents for you. Try to win the heart of the father of your girlfriend. Show them that you are good enough to be their daughter's husband otherwise there will be a hindrance in your union when your parents will control both of you.

Check your potential spouse if she showed personal integrity. Is she dishonest and liar? Talk to yourself the same question. Lying behavior can causes damaging consequences in marriage.

One good chance for marital success is having a strong foundation, values and culture. Is she religious in her character and in her faith? Does your girlfriend is more mature, responsible and dedicated?

Long time intimacy is much better than a short one to give a little space to discover compatibility in your behavior knowing of your likes and dislikes. Many hidden behavior will often come out only after marriage.

If you are willing to follow this advices then you have a great chance that your marriage will be a fruitful one.