CHECKLIST BEFORE MARRIAGE

Check if there are agreement between both of you about mutual respect and understanding. Ask yourself now what makes a strong marriage. Does a good marriage require to have qualities, loyalty, faithfulness and fidelity? Many marriages wanted to treat each other equal. They are not treating each other as inferior because marriage will never be successful.

If both of you have objection about strong commitment then don't pursue your desire to get married. The future of that relationship is bleak. Commitment means surrendering yourself totally to your agreement that you will share each other for better or for worse.

Have an honest talk about each of your individual responsibilities at home. If you are both working outside your home, sharing of responsibilities in household chores is one way to avoid a conflict. Know all your household chores. List them down. Go over with them. Then talk to her which one of this chores is for you and for her. Establish a better sharing. This will be your responsibility to be agreed by both of you before you walk down in the aisle.

Each one of you are expecting that when you got married you will have a child. Plan ahead especially if you are both working. Agree about the nurturing of the child. If you decided to put your child in the hands of someone, then go on. If your wife is willing to sacrifice her career and concentrate the task of caring the child is a better choice and more acceptable. The child must grow close to his parents. Doing the parenting should be done by the mother herself rather than handled by other person being hired.

Many marriage couple always fight about proper use of money. If the husband are spending too much even if it is not necessary, quarrel will occur. Saving a little and spending too much will not bring a good result. Avoid doing a poor money management. If you are saving more and spending less then the family will be happy. You will no longer have problem about money in time of your great necessity.

Before you get married it must have a blessing from your both parents. Sometimes, the parents of the girl controlled the life of their daughter or your parents for you. Try to win the heart of the father of your girlfriend. Show them that you are good enough to be their daughter's husband otherwise there will be a hindrance in your union when your parents will control both of you.

Check your potential spouse if she showed personal integrity. Is she dishonest and liar? Talk to yourself the same question. Lying behavior can causes damaging consequences in marriage.

One good chance for marital success is having a strong foundation, values and culture. Is she religious in her character and in her faith? Does your girlfriend is more mature, responsible and dedicated?

Long time intimacy is much better than a short one to give a little space to discover compatibility in your behavior knowing of your likes and dislikes. Many hidden behavior will often come out only after marriage.

If you are willing to follow this advices then you have a great chance that your marriage will be a fruitful one.

WHEN OUR TIME IS UP

All of us are afraid to die. There are no sane people want to have a trip to other dimension. It's painful to know that our life will end. No one lives forever. This was the hardest part of our lives. But what is death, anyway? Death is a cessation of life when our heart beats no more, when our mind shut off completely, when our body give up to become dust. Death can hit us anywhere we go, on the street, in our home, in some places, in an unfortunate accident, and even in our sleep. It depends on what manner death will come to us. When our time is up, we only leave memories, our past and present, nothing more and nothing less. We cannot even say goodbye. Those left behind are only to remember us everyday, every year or forgotten us completely as their world is not our world anymore. What was left from memories were the pictures with the children and grandchildren. They will remember us every year by visiting us to our place of rest.

But how about those who knew he has a terminal disease as his days were numbered, how can he manage the painful truth that death is inevitable and will come sooner or later. It becomes a torturer into his mind, losing hope for a chance to recovery.

Some of them have enough courage to face death. In his darkest hour, he got the opportunity to grow spiritually. Instead of turning his days with worry, he makes it to be worthwhile. His passing day was a gift. He used it wisely trying to be happy.

He experienced fear before the moment of death. But he managed it well. He give the remaining days of their life with a purpose. As the time is nearer, intimate relationship grows more. It creates a special closeness to go deeper. He feels he was being cared more than ever before. Every passing hours, become the time of expecting when....

In his deathbed, panic creep him. He used his courage and strength to focus in different direction believing that he is only making a trip to other place hoping to be back in some other time even if it is not.

TAKE CARE OF MY BABY

As your wife gives birth to a beautiful baby girl, you cannot explain your feeling upon seeing her sleeping in a crib in the hospital. The medical intern in the pediatric room was there watching your baby ready to feed a bottle of milk when she awake. You child was in deep sleep as if she was contented with her life outside her mother's womb. Your wife was in private room taking her rest to recover her lost energy during the time she labored the child.

Thinking how the situation occurred in the delivery room, it was still fresh in her mind how she twisted her face for the never ending pain, gasping for air forcing all her efforts in letting the child out in her temporary shelter to the world of the living. She was exhausted but her face shines knowing that the child was there in her bedside wriggling, crying to an emotion hard to understand. And few minutes later, she was asleep.

When you went home together from the hospital, your new life with the baby begin. Your daily routines were feeding, taking care of diapers, bathing, pacifying the little girl's crying. You were overjoyed of having your first child. You asked this before and you will not ask for more.

You picked up the baby, cradled her in your arms, feels her softness, a very fragile angel. You were very gentle in handling her taking caution to the soft spot in her head. You picked her up by slipping one hand behind her neck and her head, a very convenient position for the baby. You let the child's head rest above your shoulder with her body against your chest to hear the beats of your heart.

You talked to her even if she did not understand you. You sing a song without a lyric and an ending just a humming to feel your presence. Your voice had an effect to the baby as she sleep in your shoulder. This is the voice she will seek when she is not in your arms. Baby's intelligence can remember every voice, every touch you did to her. It is a reflex response knowing her parents were there taking care of her.

The ideal way of feeding a baby is by breastfeeding. It strengthens the bonding of the mother to her baby. This relationship gives closeness to her mother when she started growing.

Being a father, show your bonding to her. Take care the child when your wife is not around. You have to take the function as a mother in nurturing her. A function that can mold into closeness to her. Giving her water in a dropper to respond to her needs.

-Put the child in a room that are very comfortable, a quiet room free from any noise. Child is very sensitive to it that will keep her awake.

-Do an alternative feeding by using milk in can. Always hold the bottle in such a way that the nipple is always covered with milk to avoid her to suck air.

-After feeding, try to burp her. It can relieve stomach distress that will result to child's belching, the discomfort for her to cry.

-Always anticipate your child's need as she started growing more.

Caring a child is a wonderful habit by giving her comfort and attention. You and your wife should be there at her side most of the time.

You did not care the tiredness in your body from your work in the office. When you go home and see your child smiling at you, a wonderful feeling of contentment and satisfaction to be the father of this beautiful child.

WAYS TO HANDLE SEAFOODS

Choose a crabs that are fresh catch and heavy in size without any water inside its shell. Determine the presence of water by shaking it. Select also those that have fat shells to ensure that what you bought has a good and full of white meat. There are crabs that the meat is only few inside the shell and very light, most of it contains water.

In order to kill the live crab, boil water in a pot. After the color become orange, remove it and start cracking. Remove first the shell on top, twist the triangular flap in its underbelly. There is an intestinal veins you can see, remove it including the gills by holding it firmly, split it in two.

In removing the meat, use a crab pick and put the meat in a container ready for cooking to a selected menu of your own choosing. There are simple menus you can prepare by using battered eggs, bulb onions, tomatoes and garlic to mix it together with the crab meat in a bowl. Add seasoning and a little salt. Fry it. Smell the mouth-watering aroma of the newly cook menu.

There are also other method to cook a crab. Cook whole live crab in a pot. When they become orange, adds seasoning, tomatoes, bunching onions, garlic, and dessicated coconut milk. Eat with satisfaction in a very full meal for you. Any left over can be heated again ready for the next meal or if not you can wrap it in an aluminum foil and store in the ref. You can do the heating later.

Live crab can be stored inside the ref. Using a newspaper, wrap it and place it at the vegetable bins waiting for the menu you want to prepare the next day.

In checking the freshness of the mussels, see to it that the shell is shut tight closed. Don't buy an open shells. Most of it smell odorous and not good for cooking. It you want to cook without the shell, only pure meat, you can. There are many preparations that can be done by using the meat of the mussels. Before doing the cooking wash it thoroughly to remove stain and other debris in the meat out from the food they eat. If you wanted to delay your cooking, you can store it in the ref temporarily.

HOW TO DO A PLUMBING REPAIR

It is important for you to know where to shut off the valve and the location of your plumbing system. It is found under the sink, in lavatory and in your toilet room. Stop the water supply temporarily until the plumber can fix it.

A dripping faucet was caused by loose packing below the bonnet-shaped cap under the handle or due to frayed washer at the stem base. Protect the cap with a cloth before you tighten it.

A clogged shower head needs cleaning. If it is defective then replace it. Remove the shower head and clean it with a wire or big needle. With the use of ammonia and water, scrub the inside part with an old toothbrush. If the flow is still in a stream, then change it completely.

If the faucet continuous to drip, buy a new washers. In changing the shower, close the shut off valve to stop the supply of water. Remove the handle and the bonnet cap. Remove the stem by twisting it with a wrench or pliers. Remove the screw from the washer and the lower end and lift it off. Connect the new washer and screw it similar to the old one. Test the new washer by closing and opening it several times before opening the shut off valve.

If the drain clogged, it should be repaired immediately. The clogging was due to food particles accumulated inside it while the lavatory drain was clogged by human hair. This problem is in the built-in metal drain stopper. Twist it and lift and remove hair.

The clogged toilet can be cleared by plunging a bell-shaped rubber cap to wood handle. First, fill the toilet with water. Position the cup over the drain and hold the handle with both hands. Force the cup downward and release it abruptly to created suction action. Repeat as many times as necessary to break up foreign materials and forces it down the drain. Use Muriatic acid to assist in dissolving the particles.

A sink drain was clogged at the trap or U-shaped pipe, under the sink. Close the shut-off valve to stop the water supply. Catch the dripping with a bucket placed under the sink. Loose the trap plug or nut with the use of a wrench. Do it carefully to avoid stripping the thread. Force out the foreign matter with heavy wire into the drain pipe. Pour hot water in full force.

MAKING AN AQUARIUM AT HOME

The beauty inside your house can be enhance when you have an aquarium in the living room. Instead of buying a ready-made aquarium set sold in the pet shop, do it by yourself. All you need are the following:

Use ten gallon tank for easy mobility. You need air pump with tubing, air stones, box filters, under gravel and living plants. See to it that the aquarium can hold water to avoid crack to the surface. Use cover with working light. The air pump should have a steady and firm flow of water without any blockage. The heating devise is free from any rust. Be sure that the heater glass has no crack.

Run your aquarium without a fish inside. This will be your trial run. After a week, add fish you like, but keep the quantity to the minimum. Then add live plants for greater effect.

After you rinse out the tank with under gravel filter inside, start putting other ornament. Wash the gravel before putting it. It should be clean and free from any debris.

To hold down the plants inside, you need rocks and settle it into shelves near the back of the aquarium. Use live plants rather than plastic plants so that the aquarium have a natural look.

As the materials are inside (except fish) now the time for you to add water half-way at first. To avoid destroying your arrangement, use folded newspaper as your dish so that the water slowly transported inside the aquarium and fill it without moving the lay-out of the materials inside.

At first, the water will cloud, but it can clear within 1 or 2 days. If possible do not use chlorinated water. If not possible, use conditioner you can buy in pet shop and use it to neutralize the water from the chemicals.

If you think your aquarium still need additional adjustment regarding its arrangement, do it because the water is only half-way in the aquarium.

After the tank is fully filled, hook up airlines to filter and test the heating system. It will take 3 to 4 days checking the thermometer to let the thermostat to regulate the temperature to 78'F. This conditioning period will allow any impurities to reduce or disappear while the bacteria will now begin cycling the wastes.

Choose harmless gold fish or other kind of fish that are peaceful. Start it with only 4 or 5 fish for the first months. After your purchase, acclimatize them slowly because of different temperature by floating it in plastic container in the aquarium for 30 minutes maximum to avoid stress to the fish for sudden change of temperature.

At the end of the month, add more but don't overcrowd it. In your periodic cleaning, you need fish net, algae scrapers, gravel vacuum, test kit and fish food. You should have a daily feeding schedule. Make a regular schedule for testing the water quality for hardness and nitrates changing water and cleaning the aquarium.

Change water every 2 weeks to remove unwanted sediments. In feeding, dry flake foods are good. Use other kind of foods you can buy in pet shop.

HOW TO DETERMINE AN ORIGINAL ITEMS

Many items sold in the market today are not original when manufactured. Our trading market was full of fake items. If you don't know how to detect the real items, you'll become the next victim:

In buying flower vase for your living room, look at the texture around it. They have a beautiful design but look carefully if the design was not pasted to the flower base. The design of the original item was mixed to the vase itself.

In buying pottery, look for any fix in job, a crack that hidden in a sealant. Dip it in the water to see if there's any visible lines appearing. Pottery was made of clay and hardened by smoking method. If it smells smoke then its real.

In selecting your furniture, check the kind of wood they used. There are furniture that look like molave, one of the hardwood trees, but if you scrutinize it carefully you will see that it was made of soft wood but the price was of molave. One way of determining the hardness of the wood is by pressing it in your fingernails. Feel it if it is hard or not. Another section of the furniture that you have to look is the joint. Most of the furniture sold in the market had some patching to the surface to economize the usage of wood. They sealed it with wood cement to erase the visible line by retouching. With the use of sanding, the lines will disappear and look fresh and new. But visible later in how many months of use because the shellac and wood cement peeled off then by this time you will see the difference.

There were also a trick to sell a look-like original cellphone battery. The lettering indicated in the battery was different from the original. They used the logo of a quality brand so that consumer can be tricked believing it is original. You found it later when the battery was short-lived. It damaged easily because it was substandard. There were incidents that it exploded and leaking. The same thing happened in the cellphone housing made of ordinary plastic. The surface was rough and the letter marking was fading; the stroke of the label was different but the brand were the same.

These were only portion of the many tricks used in the trade. Using labels of high-quality brand but the durability, neatness, and design can be detected easily as fake.

As a consumer, keep watch. Buy only those products that you think branded as original and not imitation. The difference is visible to the eye if you scrutinize it carefully. Don't allow to be trick to a product that did not pass in the quality standard. You are only wasting your hard-earned money if you cannot even used it for a longer period. It hurts.

HOW TO HAVE AN EFFECTIVE ADVISE

We do experience a problem in seeking advise from friends or neighbors as we cannot decide on how to solve a certain situation.

Our neighbor told us what happened to him when he seek advise from one of his friends. He did not realized that such advise given to him brought more harm to him.

Relying too much to other people's advise is not a sure thing and risky. It is not advisable to give full confidence right away by relying this information. Give time to verify and check it over a hundred times weighing every side of it before committing a responsibility.

Sometimes, overconfidence leads to lost opportunities. That opportunities only knock once in a lifetime. Right decision should had been made.

Sometimes, listening to one's advise bring us bad luck. It is easy to give an advise but the effectiveness of such an advise is important either from your friend or close to you.

In coming into a conclusion by considering an advise should be carefully taken and given time to determine its value. If you are careless it may lead to painful consequences. This is the mistake some people experienced without knowing what will happen next.

The secret of giving an advise is not to give any to play safe. What you need is to guide him to his confusion in deciding the best option. Ask him but let himself decide. Whatever his decision will be at his own risk. All you have to do is to support him of his decision. Don't argue. Let him answer his own question and let him decide. Give some insight to enlighten him what to do but it should be his decision that will prevail. If he cannot give any, then don't try to advise him.

Giving advise is risky especially in deciding a delicate matter for a solution. If it fails your friend will be back at you going mad blaming you from head to foot. Don't let your friend dependent to you even how simple is the problem. Your help may backfire you. So be careful.

Although we understand the situation of your friend of his incapacity to decide his own. He was handicap in deciding. But there are problems that cannot be decided easily by other people. It is his problem, it should be his decision and its solution.

If he ask you for some advise, tell him honestly that you cannot decide the best for him. Don't assure him of anything because you are not experience enough in giving advise. Let him understand your situation. You can refer him to other person you know that is more experience in handling this problem. You can ask help from radio station having a program giving advice to people of their personal problem (probably an attorney) who are very good in deduction and knows what to do. He has the knowledge and expertise to make the decision to be effective. Maybe he can offer something than you cannot do.

TRY TO WIN MANY FRIENDS

Winning friends improves your personality. Some of us are fond of being alone. Being shy was the problem of many of us.

You are more comfortable if you just sit there looking at them. You had limited friends, only those who are the one making friend with you in certain occasion. You just sit there expecting someone to approach you instead of making an effort to make friend with them.

We understand you being an introvert type of a man. It is your nature to be uncommunicative. But to be friendly improves your personality and your way of life. Having many friends have advantages:

-You will be feeling happy with them going together. This will serve as a self-improvement to you.

-Seek support from them if you have personal problem. They are ready to help you and lend a hand.

-You can learn many things from them about their life, experiences, sacrifices and adventures. This will be your learning tools to compare their life with yours. Share your ideas with them, you can learn more.

-A close friend will not leave you. He is there with you in your time of grief and happiness.

-It can save your life. He is ready to give his life to you and protect you.

-You will know the value of having a friend that treat you as brother.

-You know how to trust people as well as trusting yourself.

-It relieves your stress in life.

-It is your chance to look for someone you like and be a partner in life.

Start winning friends now. Don't be selective. A friendly person is ready to welcome you as long as you are willing to accept them as new friends. Know their feelings, exchange views, share with them their laughter or give them comfort in time of sorrow, then you will realize that you are not a total failure after all.

PUTTING IT OFF UNTIL TOMORROW

Working is the reason why he keep on living. It become a necessity to give the children a better future. With his money he can build an ideal home, he can buy expensive clothes, go to the restaurant because he can afford. He can even buy a car for easy mobility. All this desires were fulfilled because he was working hard.

Working hard with ambition, determination can lead to success. Success made possible for all his wants and needs to be realized. It give him comfort and so much blessing.

There are some of us working for a living but not serious enough of what he is doing. He will work if he has the mood to work. If he feel lazy he put his work off to be accomplish completely on the next day. This kind of attitude on some of us make his way of living in a tightrope. Doing things half-done is wasting time supposed to be a productive one. He did not find ways to complete the task assigned to him today as he wanted to finish it tomorrow.

Some people are behind in promotion as the productivity go down. His good performance before is now history. Keep postponing the completion of a certain task will only add up clogging the table with unfinished project.

A person who are industrious will not wait to delay an assigned job for tomorrow. He will double his time working even exceeding his regular hours because of his desire to finish what he started so that another set of work can be done the next day. His timetable allow him to divide his time effectively. He is resourceful to upgrade his working capacity to the maximum producing better result and good performance.

Having this kind of inconvenience can make life miserable, it can damage the fragile relationship, careers become stagnant, achievements is limited, determination is lacking. Losing trust and faith of his capacity to deliver and his dedication to his work hang in a balance. Continuing lack of effort become a a bad habit. His working attitude will reflect to his personality as a person and can affect his integrity to response to the call of duty. Further, it stifles his personal and professional fulfillment.

For those who desired to reach the goal and find success in career, it is now time for you to be more ambitious. Show a better performance and improve your potential, and above all, work hard. This is your gateway to be a better person.

THE PROBLEM WITH GROWING-UP

In some families, there was always disagreement between parents and teenagers. It is very painful seeing a child turned into a disrespectful teenager. When parents talked about right thing, the teenager do the wrong thing. There's always the opposite. Why? Teenager don't like to be interfered with his own life. He wanted to decide what is best for him. The teenager failed to realized that he put his life into a risky position where his decision will always fail.

There was a distant relationship among them. Teenager don't believe parents are always right. What he decided was right also. He disobeys his parents because he wanted to create his own identity without interference from them: whether he is right or wrong.

Teenager has that feeling of uncertainty and doubt about himself but he used rebellion as the reason to tell his parents that he is responsible to his own life.

Some parents tolerated this kind of behavior because they don't want to lengthen their disagreement that might lead to another serious confrontation. They can't discipline their teenager who is hard-headed, rebellious and disrespectful. If they insist, teenager will resort to running away and be at the mercy of another rebellious group. It is the deepest fear of the parents to see their son totally separated from their direction and guidance. Then suddenly their beloved son became the menace of the society for delinquency.

This scene is common to some of the families today. Teenagers are doing things that is different from the expectation of their parents. Allowing dependence will result to resentment. So parents are allowing their teenage son to make his own choice. It seemed the son is testing his parent's patience by resisting any rules.

For those parents who don't have a problematic children yet, they must guide their child closely. Train them for self-respect. Set limit but with values.

CAN YOU HELP CHILD BOREDOM?

I have known a child in our place who always sickly and get tired sitting in the bench looking around just staring there, his mind wandering somewhere. He will not talk to anybody of his age. He always alone. When someone ask him, seldom he talk and just nod.

His parents were both working. The demand of their job cause inability to communicate with their child. Their older daughter was the one taking care of him. The scenario of this child is only one among the many children similar to what happened to the child I had just mentioned. His behavior has relation to the way parents raised him as a child. A child is always craving attention from their parents in the early years of his life. This is the most critical period for child development where utmost attention is needed.

The attention he seek is seldom given by his parents because they do not understand the way to deal with their child's feeling and expectation. This inattentiveness in the part of the parents can affect child's behavior developing in his mind the ill-feeling about the way they are treating him.

A child is very observant and meticulous. If his parents cannot see him, he became irritable believing that his parents did not love him. This is a very delicate behavior that parents should look and see. If parents continue to ignore child's small craving for attention it may lead to a problem later. This negative feeling will develop into a full blown misbehavior that parents can not allow.

What is lacking in this situation is communication. If parents and a child are communicative to each other, there will be harmony and better atmosphere at home where the child and his parents are talking and sharing laughter in their moment of joy and wonderful togetherness. It is not the reason for parents to make an excuse about their job. They have a lot of time to do this after work.
Child's relationship to his parents will depend on how parents are rearing their child. Good direction is involved here, to a relationship that if not handled with great care can lead to a problem later on.

During the time when parents are at home, why not let a child participate in their daily chores. Why not assign to him a certain task that he can do and become his everyday routine. This is helpful to him to develop a sense of responsibility to remove his boredom and be more productive. This will serve as his training and at the same time sharing a moment for both of them to develop a closer relationship and better understanding beneficial to the child.