DON'T LET ANGER TO EXPLODE

It is but natural to get angry to release the conflicting emotion and to relax the senses. But getting angry with damaging intention has its price. Anger can be managed if you desire to control our outburst. The degree of anger depends on the degree of its cause. A mild irritation to someone may become and intense fury if not handled properly. If the fury turns into rage, no one listens to good reason. What is in the mind is the chance to retaliate and payback no matter what it pays. He acted suicidal in order to have greater advantage. This is how intense this feeling the emotion to fight back.

Anger is the natural response to certain situation when our lives are threatened or someone wronged us and we are seeking justice. It may also due to physical or emotional abuse. It may also be to our deepest frustration that our needs, goals and desires are not meet as expected. We longed too much but we failed. The failure runs out the patience within us. Once it explodes, we don’t care anymore.

Too much abuse physically and morally, put us to hate someone to the deepest recesses of our soul. It imprinted and it can’t be taken easily. It just waiting there to make life like hell. Once anger control us completely we act impulsive, aggressive and violent.

The anger that is boiling inside put too much strain to our body and mind. The intensity of the emotion is very extreme. The blood pressure goes high as the heart beats so fast and it dimmed the senses. As anger is put to the test, our aggressiveness cause harm to those that wronged us.

Too much anger stressed the body. It is the beginning of many health conditions. Anger increases blood pressure. It causes heart disease. There is abnormal rhythm of the heart. The immune system was affected. It can no longer effectively battle infection. There is laxity of control. Cough, cold and flu were common as the defenses had been breached and the infection spreads.

Controlling anger means controlling disease. If anger is not controlled, many undesirable consequences will happen. Using physical force or violence may in conflict with the law. If the situation reaches to extreme, he may be arrested and jailed. If his enemy survives, he may retaliate and chances that he may be injured or even death itself if he can’t protect himself.

Anger is learned behavior. Outburst is the result of unavoidable circumstances arising from verbal or physical abuse. It may also be due to threat to life. We can be angry even without being aggressive.

Children alienate their feeling to their parents because they are very strict to them. Any minor infraction makes their parents to get mad abusing them verbally or physically. Parents can’t control their anger. They did not understand how anger affects their personal behavior, the better relationship in the family, the harmony and peace in the home. The children developed feeling of dislike, frustration, fear and hatred against them of their incapacity to protect their welfare instead of giving them hell. The concept of expressing love to the children was wasted.

Instituting correct discipline need no physical and emotional harm. It can be done in constructive setting without jeopardizing better relationship with the children. It is important for parents or anyone to break the habit of emotional outburst. They have to control their habit to dominate instituting physical harm and mental torture.

We have to change our perception how anger can do harm to us emotionally. But there are ways to minimize emotional outburst or put total stop before it’s too late.

If something is boiling inside, try to relax. Make deep breath to release the tension and calm down the nerves. Always stay in control of any emotional lapses before it escalate. Involve physically. Enter into physical activity to disrupt developing emotion to erupt.

Involve in mental exercise. Select a hobby where mental power can be utilize to the maximum. Be open to changes. Let the feeling not to go to negative side otherwise you can nol longer reign your behavior to explode.

Develop positive thoughts and spend your time in more productive endeavor rather than spending time to hate. Learn how to listen. Give him time to defend so you will know the true cause of the conflict.

Don’t excavate the past. It may only add insult to injury. Leave the past behind and face the present situation and make solution to prevent your emotion to waylaid.

Focus the true reason of the conflict. No need to add another to confuse and increase the risk of the conflict. Avoid hitting your enemy below the belt away from the real issue. Speak with calm voice. Two higher voices will mean trouble.

If the situation gets worse stay out from the flame away from the battle and review your position. Don’t always argue to simple things not so important as not to expand the issue. Be sure to know what you are hearing is correct to avoid misinformation that will lead to quarrel not worthy to pursue.

Conduct a self-check. If you are angry, your heart beats fast. There is muscle tension to portion of your body when it contract. There is adrenaline rush to defend and fight back. There is change in the color of the face as checks reddened and pale. You are using abusive language and unnecessary remakes not worthy to hear.

Avoid accusing anyone of wrongdoing if you are not sure what you are talking. Don’t take hard sand cold stare to anyone as if you want to biter him.

Slamming the door is a sign of anger you need not to pursue. Don’t always criticize others inefficiency and lapses. Misunderstanding starts from useless and unwarranted remarks.

Anger is common to us. There may be good side for some of us for release but most of it leads to something difficult to handle. The control of anger lies on your ability to listen to the positive side it brings.  If you let your emotion to control you, you can no longer think better and reasonable. Everything will be out of your hands. If you want to do these, then be ready to face to whatever the prize of your outburst.

THE LIFE OF A SINGLE MAN

He wanted to be alone. He doesn’t want responsibility. He was happy in his present state. He had different belief how to live. Being alone was enough. He doesn’t want to care for others. He only cared for himself. He did not even plan to raise a family. Whatever his purpose of getting away from the society where he belong was his choice. The choice that is contrary to other belief that a man can't live alone without someone at his side. He had different views.

Commitment is one of the reasons why some people don't want to make a wise decision. They are afraid that they cannot raise a family properly. They are worried of total failure thinking that they cannot even support their own. The negative perception restrained them to decide what is best for them believing that they will be blame if they cannot response effectively to the expectation of others in his capacity to support his own family.

There are others who don't want to get involve because he is afraid to face any challenge. He has no interest. He just wanted to be an easy-go-lucky man without direction, ambition and plan for his future. He relied only in the present. He doesn’t want for a change. This is the reason why he cannot increase his level of income because he doesn’t want try to change his direction. 

He just relied in his family for his need even if he already old enough to find a life of his own. That's the problem of some of us, we always dependent to other person for support. This attitude is one of the hindrances to live a life full of hope, ambition and satisfaction.

The problem is how he manages when he aged? Can he still able to support his own? How he can manage when he became very old? Who will take care of him? If his life expire in due time then who will remember him? Time flies so fast.

It is better if he change now in order to grow. There is still time to decide to have someone he can turn to. He should focus only in one direction to be a family man. He should not afraid to face the test along the way. He has to show his effort and his worth. He should make his life to become worthwhile. We believe it is not too late for a change.

MAINTAINING A LONG LASTING RELATIONSHIP

A good relationship among friends, neighbors, marriages and sweethearts will last if you want to keep it longer. Once it severed for a simple reason, such intimate relationship will never be the same again, it may even get worse. Good relationship should be preserved, prospered and pampered. It should be kept to blossom to be able to flower. Close connection with other people has many advantages.

 It is easy to ask from someone close to you or seek an advise on your physical and emotional problems. They can be relied during period of financial difficulties. They are willing to help you as long as they can afford. They can even protect you from someone threating your life. Some people are even willing to sacrifice for the sake of friendship. That’s how good relationship meant to all of us.

 Ask yourself, can you keep it to last?

If you enter into a new relationship with special someone, see to it that you have the ability to make it to last for a long time. Make it right for the first time. If something went wrong in your relationship, find the reason of the misunderstanding and be sure that the cause is not coming from you. You can’t hold a relationship if your partner is not sincere to his commitment. Find ways to save it. If no good result is coming despite your efforts, be ready to give up. He may  not be the right man for you.

 If he is sincere, he himself will initiate the first step to patch up the differences as he was the cause. His silence means he doesn’t love you anymore. Let him be free. It is better to feel the pain now and regain your consciousness rather than maintaining your suffering for long period of time. It’s useless and it doesn’t worth a sacrifice. If he doesn’t want you anymore, so be it. Don’t let yourself be affected too much if it happens. You can still find someone who is honest and sincere to his words.

If all the heartaches are gone, make new relationship and hope it will not be another pain to you. Observe the behavior of your new partner if he can be relied on. You will know deep inside if he is really loves you. Observe his reaction to a simple misunderstanding common to a relationship. If he can initiate the first step to patch up any little and simple conflict then he is different if he immediately feels sorry of his shortcomings.

Let your love keep burning. Let your partner know that you loved him and care for him always. Always stay connected with your partner. Maintain your togetherness at all times but with honest restraint. A man is always a man if given the chance.

Don’t prolong a simple misunderstanding. Control your negative feeling to take place. Stay positive and make the relationship to prosper. Don’t talk with your partner about your past relationship. What is past should remain to be past. It is not wise recalling the pain of the past. You already overcome it then all you have to do is to maintain and focus your attention to your new relationship.

Ask yourself, what the relationship will lead your life? Are you willing to marry him for good? You have to determine your common purpose of such a relationship. There should be a direction so that you will know what will be your part in your relationship with him. Ask him the same thing so that you will be aware of his position before entering into a long and challenging commitment.

A relationship is not always perfect as what you thought. There is always ups and downs and you must ready for it. Don’t be caught in the web of surrendering your feeling. There’s always a solution in any disagreement if you let your eyes open. Only respect is needed in fixing whatever issues that give you headache. Talk to him often. Both of you will solve the problem at hand. Don’t react to minor problem immediately. Lengthen your patience and talk to him seriously. Work toward the solution together. It is very hard to get things right if one of you will not give up.

If your partner experienced a personal problem not intentionally done he can’t handle alone, be supportive of what he gone through. Be sure not in any way blame your partner for everything for his mistakes. Give all the support he need. Listen and understand your partner’s situation. H will be able to realize how you care for him. Handle it maturely and rationally. It must be resolve in most productive ways.

Secure your good relationship at all times. Share whatever problems at hand. If the foundation of your relationship is strong then it will endure to last long. It is just a matter of putting more weight to its value.