THE FEAR OF GETTING OLD

Why afraid getting old? We can’t question the changes occurred in the body. It occurred as the cells started to deteriorate slowly as time passes by. Generally, we can’t stop aging because it is part of body’s mechanism. It is beyond our control to hold what is surely coming in the end time of our living.

A beautiful day as we are born seeing the first light of day. It was a day of blessing that we have given the opportunity to live once, the day of too much happiness of our parents as if worries can’t stand a chance to interrupt the day of their joy.

Our growth and development started to take place slowly and patiently from being an infant until we become a small boy ready to walk. It doesn’t end there, as we reached adolescent stage, the body showed its healthiness. The human cells are intact, fresh and robust.

As if the word “aging” doesn’t ring a bell in our ears. We did not give much attention the implication it brings the later years in our life. Our mind was occupied with the kind of enjoyment we choose.  We spend our time away from worries, socialize, adding friends into our list. We don’t have any preparation ahead what is sure to come because it is still in the future. 

Our mind was occupied to something else. We prepared ourselves to handle the effect of life difficulties of our own making. We are happy when we are in abundance as if saving something is not in our vocabulary, whatever there is it should be spend as if there is no tomorrow. We spent it all in leisure to have the satisfaction and contentment we are craving and the excitement of being young, beautiful and healthy.

We did not understand the effect of financial preparedness to the time when we become old and incapacitated. It is hard to admit the truth that we surely age.  If that time will come, there’s no more turning back. We may be empty, lost and penniless. There’s uncertainty ahead, the future is bleak and frightening of which we don’t want to know.

Getting old is natural breakdown from modern lifestyle. There was weakness and tiredness in the body. There is deterioration in the condition of our general wellness. There is sadness in the contour of our face as if there’s no life in it. Diminishing eyesight was common and out-of-focus.  Poor eyesight restraints our movement as we can’t see certainty what’s ahead. 

There is pain in the muscles and joints. There is emptiness in living alone, hopeless, helpless and penniless. There’s fast change in body chemistry and mental power. Mental sharpness and compatibility to reason are deteriorating, forgetfulness is the price. The collapse of mental ability is costly. Better frame of mind is lacking. Self-confidence is lost. We can’t trust ourselves anymore. We can’t communicate easily because of the difficulty in remembering.

We can’t effectively analyze situation because we are poor in interpreting what to do and how to act. Our hearing falter, the gaze has no focus. There’s lack of interest to live. Depression comes in, unhappiness in the making. We are prone to annoyance and sensitive on everything we disliked.

We can’t hear our own voice because of the difficulty in our hearing. Our physical handicap is bothering us too much to the senses. Our physical condition deteriorate, our health conditions aggravate and worsen.

During the younger years of our lives, we celebrated our birthdays without fail. We spent enough to make the celebration with deeper meaning. We celebrated it with too much fanfare every year until the time we don’t want to celebrate anymore. We don’t want to remember that we are started aging. We feared that the time has now come leading the path nearing the end of the road. The life we lead before no longer be the life we are in.

As we aged, we wanted a life as simple as it is. We don’t want to expect more. Less in life is more than enough to be happy and contented. As our physical activity wanes due to health reason, the pain in the body increases and unbearable. There’s no more flexibility in the contraction of our muscles.

It was common to see a scene of an old man or woman sitting in the chair with no focus, unmoved with blank expression. He slightly moved, grimacing due to the pain of arthritis. He felt it quite a long time since mid-fifties. He refrained doing physical activity as it only aggravates his muscles and joint pains.

Loneliness makes his life unbearable but nothing he can do to ease the boredom. Entering into the final chapters of his life kept bouncing in his mind. He wanted to hold the time to pass but the time don’t want to embrace him. His life, his time is now coming to an end.

A good lifestyle may lengthen life for several years more. Too much abuse to the body will cut it short. Following the modern lifestyle is pleasing but also an everlasting pain. Aging makes the skin to wrinkle so fast. The change in body chemistry from being young to become an aged is part of life history of living and dying. It is a fact worth remembering and forgetting but the sure thing is we can’t live forever.

THE LIFE OF A SINGLE MAN

He wanted to be alone. He doesn’t want responsibility. He was happy in his present state. He had different belief how to live. Being alone was enough. He doesn’t want to care for others. He only cared for himself. He did not even plan to raise a family. Whatever his purpose of getting away from the society where he belong was his choice. The choice that is contrary to other belief that a man can't live alone without someone at his side. He had different views.

Commitment is one of the reasons why some people don't want to make a wise decision. They are afraid that they cannot raise a family properly. They are worried of total failure thinking that they cannot even support their own. The negative perception restrained them to decide what is best for them believing that they will be blame if they cannot response effectively to the expectation of others in his capacity to support his own family.

There are others who don't want to get involve because he is afraid to face any challenge. He has no interest. He just wanted to be an easy-go-lucky man without direction, ambition and plan for his future. He relied only in the present. He doesn’t want for a change. This is the reason why he cannot increase his level of income because he doesn’t want try to change his direction. 

He just relied in his family for his need even if he already old enough to find a life of his own. That's the problem of some of us, we always dependent to other person for support. This attitude is one of the hindrances to live a life full of hope, ambition and satisfaction.

The problem is how he manages when he aged? Can he still able to support his own? How he can manage when he became very old? Who will take care of him? If his life expire in due time then who will remember him? Time flies so fast.

It is better if he change now in order to grow. There is still time to decide to have someone he can turn to. He should focus only in one direction to be a family man. He should not afraid to face the test along the way. He has to show his effort and his worth. He should make his life to become worthwhile. We believe it is not too late for a change.

SUSPICIOUS-TYPE OF BEHAVIOR

Dealing with suspicious form of behavior needs time and effort. You need enough time to win his confidence. He always developed fear and doubt of your true intention. He can’t easily give his trust to anyone. He was very meticulous in selecting a friend. They were only be counted in his fingers. Generally, he was not friendly at first. 

As he started to like you, there was still little doubt in his mind if you really worth as a friend. He was very defensive at all times as if there is no goodness in men around him. You have to struggle quite a bit before he will accept you as friend based on his liking. You are lucky if you are one among them.

He was uncomfortable in the presence of a group or in the crowd especially if they are not yet familiar to him or new to his eyes. He can’t easily fit among them. He was more comfortable being alone rather than meeting people.

Even among his friends, he will not initiate conversation to any subject worth discussing to have lively atmosphere. He waited them to make the first move to talk to him. He responded but not much. A lengthy discussion tired him. He was not very responsive most of the time. Sometimes, he voiced out an opinion in response to question but without degree of interest.

In dealing with other people, it seemed there was no life in him. He was dry and unconcern.  He was choosy in making friend. It was the trademark he always maintained. A long-time friend he liked abled to know his personal life because of the deepness of trust developed between them. He was comfortable in talking to him. This was the only time where his interest was high.

He was willing to keep his mouth closed knowing the unpleasant information that will hurt anybody’s feeling. It will remain hidden in his mind.   

He was slower in making important decision. If he decide, it should be sure, consistent and with success. His worry of failure was above his own imaginings. He was very careful in doing something he believed has no chance for success.

He valued friendship and anyone who intends to severe it will never be the same. Once a trust is lost, there’s no way it can be restored. You can no longer convince him to trust you again. Your relationship with him will end. He doesn’t care anymore if you make an effort to make peace with him.

His behavior is hard to understand. His indifference to people was beyond measure. It scared away anybody knowing his limitation. He was contented if he doesn’t have many friends. Being very suspicious prevented him to socialize to improve his self-image.

 His self-esteem was very low. His personality development stagnated. He was not perceptive to change his way of life being alone. He only believed in himself. He doesn’t believe other people’s attention because he always had doubts of their intention. It needs him wider space to think about. 

If you talk to him, you should be very careful what to say. Don’t talk to him regarding other people’s lives. It may only alienate his feeling to you. He may have sympathy with others that you don’t know.

Know his weakness before you hit him. His vulnerability will be your sure points to know him better. It may lead to a long lasting friendship you hope. What you only need is little understanding and patience because what you are facing is a problematic one. Don’t push too hard you may run out of luck because he was smarter than you are.

DESTRUCTIVE-TYPE OF BEAVIOR

There are people that have no reservation in talking or commenting what’s in their mind even if it is destructive to one’s own feeling. Once he opened his mouth, it causes trouble. He doesn’t hesitate to say what he had seen, what things he don’t like. Without respecting the privacy of others, many of them expresses their distaste and easily irritated of minding other personal affairs.

Being talkative, he captured the attention of those in a group. He was good actor giving opinion as if he knew everything. He easily criticized any action, a sour in his eyes and a pain in his ears. He had lesser friends but many enemies. He doesn’t care if it severed a relationship. What is important to him is that what he has to say to something even it hurts somebody’s feeling.

He had his positive side. He can get the attention of others because he knew how to win their trust. He spoke humorous punch line, witty jokes. He talked something that do not make sense just to seek their attention and entertain them.

He had active and lively happy life. He was friendly or outspoken. But other people found him irritable and some found him very accommodating. He knew how to place himself among them even if he knew them only briefly. He can manage new friendship with confidence clipping his shyness and talked to them without fear. The people around enjoyed his company of being good conversationalist. But beware, if he don’t like, he felt irritated and angry. That is not the best part of his character. He can easily loss a friend and destroy the lively atmosphere.

He had creative imagination. He can easily formulate something of importance, give comfort for their advantage. His view is a manner of interest, clear and understandable to comprehend. His creativeness put him to explore new things of value. His inventive attitude can easily find fresh ideas most useful to everyone.

If given a new task, he kept his interest alive. His innovation makes other people impressed of his ideas and applications. The way he handled the feelings of others was inconclusive. Sometimes he was willing to listen, sometimes he showed his destructive nature and unwarranted criticism. He easily noticed flaws of others but has no idea to know his own flaws. He will not push the issue if caught between the lines.

He showed impulsiveness in his behavior.  He had his weakness when it comes to decision making. He was weak and careless. He made impulsive decision that are irrational without bearing to the solution of the problem especially if he was pressured and don’t know what to do. His creativeness and imagination only confined to isolated cases. But his greatest lapses were how to make right decision. He liked a worry-free situation, less effort activity. He panicked if it gives him stress of his inability to handle them.

He was very interested in doing new things but later on his interest waned. Instead of striving for the best, he settled the less because of his loss of interest.

He was fond of doing silly things without purpose, without good intention to make a scene and to entertain. There has no rationalism in such wasted act that has no purpose at all. He was careless by making immediate conclusion without knowing first the true fact, an irresponsible action that most often irritate people. He made generalization of his comments with no excuses or exceptions to those that are good and different because of his failure to know the details first before talking too much. By not paying attention to details, may end in lapses of behavior.

He loved to be acknowledged and recognized his strength and his helpful contribution. He was egoistic, loving himself more. He was not protective or doesn’t care in handling the sensitivity of other people. He violated their ego, but if his ego is touched severely, it pained him deeply. He was too emotional, touchy with erratic mood that controls his good sanity.