DON'T LET ANGER TO EXPLODE

It is but natural to get angry to release the conflicting emotion and to relax the senses. But getting angry with damaging intention has its price. Anger can be managed if you desire to control our outburst. The degree of anger depends on the degree of its cause. A mild irritation to someone may become and intense fury if not handled properly. If the fury turns into rage, no one listens to good reason. What is in the mind is the chance to retaliate and payback no matter what it pays. He acted suicidal in order to have greater advantage. This is how intense this feeling the emotion to fight back.

Anger is the natural response to certain situation when our lives are threatened or someone wronged us and we are seeking justice. It may also due to physical or emotional abuse. It may also be to our deepest frustration that our needs, goals and desires are not meet as expected. We longed too much but we failed. The failure runs out the patience within us. Once it explodes, we don’t care anymore.

Too much abuse physically and morally, put us to hate someone to the deepest recesses of our soul. It imprinted and it can’t be taken easily. It just waiting there to make life like hell. Once anger control us completely we act impulsive, aggressive and violent.

The anger that is boiling inside put too much strain to our body and mind. The intensity of the emotion is very extreme. The blood pressure goes high as the heart beats so fast and it dimmed the senses. As anger is put to the test, our aggressiveness cause harm to those that wronged us.

Too much anger stressed the body. It is the beginning of many health conditions. Anger increases blood pressure. It causes heart disease. There is abnormal rhythm of the heart. The immune system was affected. It can no longer effectively battle infection. There is laxity of control. Cough, cold and flu were common as the defenses had been breached and the infection spreads.

Controlling anger means controlling disease. If anger is not controlled, many undesirable consequences will happen. Using physical force or violence may in conflict with the law. If the situation reaches to extreme, he may be arrested and jailed. If his enemy survives, he may retaliate and chances that he may be injured or even death itself if he can’t protect himself.

Anger is learned behavior. Outburst is the result of unavoidable circumstances arising from verbal or physical abuse. It may also be due to threat to life. We can be angry even without being aggressive.

Children alienate their feeling to their parents because they are very strict to them. Any minor infraction makes their parents to get mad abusing them verbally or physically. Parents can’t control their anger. They did not understand how anger affects their personal behavior, the better relationship in the family, the harmony and peace in the home. The children developed feeling of dislike, frustration, fear and hatred against them of their incapacity to protect their welfare instead of giving them hell. The concept of expressing love to the children was wasted.

Instituting correct discipline need no physical and emotional harm. It can be done in constructive setting without jeopardizing better relationship with the children. It is important for parents or anyone to break the habit of emotional outburst. They have to control their habit to dominate instituting physical harm and mental torture.

We have to change our perception how anger can do harm to us emotionally. But there are ways to minimize emotional outburst or put total stop before it’s too late.

If something is boiling inside, try to relax. Make deep breath to release the tension and calm down the nerves. Always stay in control of any emotional lapses before it escalate. Involve physically. Enter into physical activity to disrupt developing emotion to erupt.

Involve in mental exercise. Select a hobby where mental power can be utilize to the maximum. Be open to changes. Let the feeling not to go to negative side otherwise you can nol longer reign your behavior to explode.

Develop positive thoughts and spend your time in more productive endeavor rather than spending time to hate. Learn how to listen. Give him time to defend so you will know the true cause of the conflict.

Don’t excavate the past. It may only add insult to injury. Leave the past behind and face the present situation and make solution to prevent your emotion to waylaid.

Focus the true reason of the conflict. No need to add another to confuse and increase the risk of the conflict. Avoid hitting your enemy below the belt away from the real issue. Speak with calm voice. Two higher voices will mean trouble.

If the situation gets worse stay out from the flame away from the battle and review your position. Don’t always argue to simple things not so important as not to expand the issue. Be sure to know what you are hearing is correct to avoid misinformation that will lead to quarrel not worthy to pursue.

Conduct a self-check. If you are angry, your heart beats fast. There is muscle tension to portion of your body when it contract. There is adrenaline rush to defend and fight back. There is change in the color of the face as checks reddened and pale. You are using abusive language and unnecessary remakes not worthy to hear.

Avoid accusing anyone of wrongdoing if you are not sure what you are talking. Don’t take hard sand cold stare to anyone as if you want to biter him.

Slamming the door is a sign of anger you need not to pursue. Don’t always criticize others inefficiency and lapses. Misunderstanding starts from useless and unwarranted remarks.

Anger is common to us. There may be good side for some of us for release but most of it leads to something difficult to handle. The control of anger lies on your ability to listen to the positive side it brings.  If you let your emotion to control you, you can no longer think better and reasonable. Everything will be out of your hands. If you want to do these, then be ready to face to whatever the prize of your outburst.

HOW TO HANDLE FAILED RELATIONSHIP

Failed relationship is one of the menaces of social structure. It has been known that there was an increase in the percentage of failed relationship in modern society. Even the known personalities of the world did not escape from the pen of media people writing the cause of their break-up. It has been the hot topic in many magazines and even sensationalized it to be noticed.

Men were the actor of most failed marriages. If there was a 3^rd party involved in a relationship, hell breaks loose. This is the starting point of repeated quarrel between husbands and wives. This is the beginning of sour relationship that mostly led to marital breakdown.

Even young adults at the first place of their relationship still threatened for a break-up if one of them done something that will breach close understanding. Most women were affected of the immoral values of men. Their children suffered from their separation. Increased juvenile delinquent children came from this level due to laxity in supervising their growth years. They became the problem of the community on how to bring the problematic children to reform their unwelcome behavior.

If it happened that you are one of those unfortunate few of having failed relationship, how do you handle them?

Your heart was so deep draining your energy to the lowest ladder. There was emptiness within you as if there is heaviness in the chest. You don’t want to talk to anybody. You wanted to be alone in your solitary room thinking the pain and discouragement that the sweetness of togetherness you felt before with your partner was replaced with hate and anger.

Your goodness was abused and disregarded your feeling. It took you a long time to be able to recover from your pain. It started to make your stronger to handle your feelings. Your experience give you time to think more deeply before looking for another relationship. It motivated you to be careful in choosing your mate. It improved yourself how to handle your feeling in case of another break-up.

In choosing your mate, have a clear vision. Consider everything you need to know about him. Bear in mind, there’s no perfect marriage if one of you has no desire to prolong the relationship, only those that has highest regard to respect and be honest. Know what you want and what to expect from him. He may be honest at first but how long? Consider all those expectation. Don’t give all your trust to him, reserve something for you. If he gives you heartache at least you are prepared for the worst. Don’t just sit on the corner defend what is right for you. 

 To feel affected miserably will only ruin you. He just laughed at you. Instead go on with your life. Show to him that you live happy without him. It may be hard at first but there’s nothing you can do instead accept the reality that you are not meant to each other. Pick-up yourself and kick-out all those frustration and you will know later that you are right in your decision of forgetting him slowly in your memory.

If you already failed twice it might not be the 3^rd. Don’t close your option to love again. Seek your happiness, who knows it may be your last.

Another way of handling your frustration is to find ways to distract you from your loneliness. Socialize and be with your friends. You may have to add another friend in your list. Work harder and finish whatever commitment is hanging. Focus your attention from your emotional burden.

If you believed you can’t handle your pain, seek counseling to some expert. It may help your mind to relax and at peace. Increase your self-confidence to be higher to make you strong from your frustration and discouragement. Improve your spiritual outlook to a better, healthy mental and emotional balance so that the emotional pressure can be minimized.

Any disturbing emotion you feel should be taken away from your heart. Avoid building negative feelings instead focus to a more constructive endeavor. Don’t allow yourself to be slave to your emotion. Find your happiness and leave all those painful memories away from you.

WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY?

We sometimes not aware what causes our anger, how much anger we were holding inside or how to express it. We maybe angry about certain events of our own or other people's action. Any little things can build into a full blown anger if not manage well. We have to control our anger before it control us.

If you find yourself becoming increasingly irritable, you may have problem in dealing with your anger. Feeling angry is a normal human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turn destructive, it may lead to problem in your work, in your personal relationship with others and the overall quality of your life.

It is an emotional state varies from intense, mild irritation to intense rage and fury accompanied by physiological changes when the heart rate and blood pressure goes up. They may be cause from external and internal events happening in your life.

Anger can be suppress and redirect. If you are angry, hold your anger, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive. The purpose is to inhibit, suppress and convert it into a more constructive behavior.

You goal is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the psychological arousal that causes anger. You can't get rid of it, or avoid to things that enrage you or to change them. Have courage and learn to control your emotions.

Those who easily angered has low tolerance for frustration and annoyance and inconvenience. They cannot take things easy. They immediately infuriated if corrected by some of their wrongdoing. Typically, people that are easily angered came from families that are disruptive, chaotic and cannot handle emotional stress. They become too irrational and very demanding by doing it their way. If their demands are not meet, their disappointment become an anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid being hurt.

Sometimes, an anger and frustration are caused by one's personal problem in life. It is the natural response to difficulties. We feel hurt or irritated when someone or something obstructs our needs and desires. Why do we have such a hard time recognizing our feelings of vulnerability and hurt when we are insulted.

How can we let our anger subside? A simple relaxation will do. Deep breathing is helpful to calm down angry feeling. Make a plan, check your progress everyday. Resolve the best of your intention and effort. In a given situation, focus on how you can handle and face the problem. In a heated discussion, slow down and think through your responses. Think about carefully what you want to say. Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take time before answering. Give yourself a break. Find time for leisure to ease the feeling of anger.