THE PROBLEM WITH GROWING-UP

In some families, there was always disagreement between parents and teenagers. It is very painful seeing a child turned into a disrespectful teenager. When parents talked about right thing, the teenager do the wrong thing. There's always the opposite. Why? Teenager don't like to be interfered with his own life. He wanted to decide what is best for him. The teenager failed to realized that he put his life into a risky position where his decision will always fail.

There was a distant relationship among them. Teenager don't believe parents are always right. What he decided was right also. He disobeys his parents because he wanted to create his own identity without interference from them: whether he is right or wrong.

Teenager has that feeling of uncertainty and doubt about himself but he used rebellion as the reason to tell his parents that he is responsible to his own life.

Some parents tolerated this kind of behavior because they don't want to lengthen their disagreement that might lead to another serious confrontation. They can't discipline their teenager who is hard-headed, rebellious and disrespectful. If they insist, teenager will resort to running away and be at the mercy of another rebellious group. It is the deepest fear of the parents to see their son totally separated from their direction and guidance. Then suddenly their beloved son became the menace of the society for delinquency.

This scene is common to some of the families today. Teenagers are doing things that is different from the expectation of their parents. Allowing dependence will result to resentment. So parents are allowing their teenage son to make his own choice. It seemed the son is testing his parent's patience by resisting any rules.

For those parents who don't have a problematic children yet, they must guide their child closely. Train them for self-respect. Set limit but with values.

CAN YOU HELP CHILD BOREDOM?

I have known a child in our place who always sickly and get tired sitting in the bench looking around just staring there, his mind wandering somewhere. He will not talk to anybody of his age. He always alone. When someone ask him, seldom he talk and just nod.

His parents were both working. The demand of their job cause inability to communicate with their child. Their older daughter was the one taking care of him. The scenario of this child is only one among the many children similar to what happened to the child I had just mentioned. His behavior has relation to the way parents raised him as a child. A child is always craving attention from their parents in the early years of his life. This is the most critical period for child development where utmost attention is needed.

The attention he seek is seldom given by his parents because they do not understand the way to deal with their child's feeling and expectation. This inattentiveness in the part of the parents can affect child's behavior developing in his mind the ill-feeling about the way they are treating him.

A child is very observant and meticulous. If his parents cannot see him, he became irritable believing that his parents did not love him. This is a very delicate behavior that parents should look and see. If parents continue to ignore child's small craving for attention it may lead to a problem later. This negative feeling will develop into a full blown misbehavior that parents can not allow.

What is lacking in this situation is communication. If parents and a child are communicative to each other, there will be harmony and better atmosphere at home where the child and his parents are talking and sharing laughter in their moment of joy and wonderful togetherness. It is not the reason for parents to make an excuse about their job. They have a lot of time to do this after work.
Child's relationship to his parents will depend on how parents are rearing their child. Good direction is involved here, to a relationship that if not handled with great care can lead to a problem later on.

During the time when parents are at home, why not let a child participate in their daily chores. Why not assign to him a certain task that he can do and become his everyday routine. This is helpful to him to develop a sense of responsibility to remove his boredom and be more productive. This will serve as his training and at the same time sharing a moment for both of them to develop a closer relationship and better understanding beneficial to the child.