THE DEADLY EFFECT OF OVERSPENDING

Obsession to certain things makes anyone happy but sad. He is happy because he abled to buy one that fascinated him. At the same time, he was sad because it added another credit to his account. His impulsiveness hurt his pocket. He had not given his family they comfort they deserved as he lived in his own extravagance.

He bought something not so important due to his addiction to it. He yearned for sudden gratification to satisfy his cravings to own one. He has no control over his obsession. He got what he wanted. He allowed too much spending to rule and ruin his life. He has no idea the long-term effect it caused to his family as if he has no concern for them. What it concern him is on how to get money from somewhere to respond to his selfish need. It seemed he was not contented in one buy. More buys makes a joy inside him.

This was the problem in modern civilization wherein new technology created many things that fancied us. We wanted to follow the lifestyle of other people with leaving a little for the family. It becomes habitual acts the hardest to control.

Compulsive buying is only good for rich people. They can afford whatever they wanted what their heart desires. They can buy almost everything to satisfy their materialistic behavior.  If those people living in middle of poverty line who insist they can afford, its craziness.  Why allow to be in the verge of hardship when they have the ability to prevent it to happen. It’s just a matter of common sense. 

We should not let our mind to go beyond good reason. There should be openness to measure what is right and not to have a wrong turn. If we don’t have outstanding credit, it might be possible. We are confident and have sense of peace. It will not give us stress to look another meal of the day for the family. It is great relief if everything is in order.

Spending unreasonably is the sum total of deep-rooted uncontrollable emotion that causes us on impulsive buying. It was the source of our trouble. Surrendering to the claw of our wants and needs makes life miserable. There is uncertainty for survival due to overspending. It does more harm than good.

There were other reasons that triggered overspending. In the time of our distress and period of grief we tend to buy unnecessarily to calm down the feeling of loss even for the brief period of time. It also happened if we are on the verge of our outburst to someone in conflict seeking interruption through compulsive buying.

Most often the problem started when you spend more than you able to pay.  Your credit card tempted you to spend more. Your headache starts when it is time to pay especially if you don’t have enough cash in your hands to pay for the purchases not including other outstanding accounts that worry you. You are on the edge of frustration where to go and the person that will save you in your helplessness. You can’t talk straight because of your confusion and anger without realizing you are the one that causes it.

Conflict among husband and wife begins when one of them lied to the condition of their savings. There were disbursements that were not agreed by both. One of them already hooked being a compulsive buyer. Their savings was dwindling without the knowledge of one of them until almost all had been consumed when it was known. The hell broke loose, someone is to blame. Marriage is on the rock, separation is imminent.

If you intend to be one of them, don’t be too shortsighted. You can make your own prevention if you intend to do what is right and honest to yourself. If you follow this tips, you will not regret it instead it give you peace of mind without worries about financial matters:

-Determine the possible triggers that will tempt you to buy unreasonably.

-Share portion of your salary every month as your savings helpful during emergency situation.

-Never rely the use of credit card in all your bigger purchases. You will surely overshoot to your credit limit or your capacity to pay.

-Avoid passing or entering to your favorite store department that will make you wild to make haste buying.

-If you feel the uncontrollable impulse upon seeing your favorite object, stay away from it immediately.

-Bring only cash needed for purchases of the basic commodity items. You can estimate the amount you will bring during shopping based on your grocery list.

-Request someone (child/husband) to accompany you while shopping. This is to disrupt you from deciding by yourself.

-Make grocery list before going to store. Buy only what you listed to prevent picking items not on the list.

-Keep in mind that you have to prioritize your expenses on basic commodities needed at home. The not-so important items should be decided later and should be given much thought of its usefulness before purchasing it.

-If you are heavy stress or angry, calm yourself down slowly in several minutes but not take the option of buying just to ebb away the feeling.

There are still many ways how to control your pleasure of compulsive buying. The only important thing to bear in mind is strict control. If you pass the test then you’ll never be in despair of having no money in your purse.

EXPRESSIVE-TYPE OF BEHAVIOR

Another kind of behavior is worth knowing. He was friendly but in disguise. You can’t be sure of his true feeling to you. He was showy but it is not a guarantee of a true friendship. He doesn’t care if such friendship is known to anybody or to most people. It is not of his interest.

Whatever he did, whatever his relationship with other people, whatever success in store for him, he wanted to be known by everybody even in public. His expressive attitude put him in the limelight. He becomes the star in the crowd. He controlled the environment as if he is only a man of extra-ordinary abilities among the crowd. He valued his relationship with other people if he thinks he can use it at his advantage.

His ability to win people’s belief made him popular. He valued other people’s view as well as his faith of his ability. This aspect of his life was the result of the hidden strength it had in himself.

He becomes a crowd drawer as he started to talk, many will listen to him attentively and with interest. He put humor to his speech to remove the boredom most listeners do. There was no need for him to pretend. It was his natural way of dealing people. Laughing was the language of the heart. If you have these, it may lengthen your life. An expressive attitude has full of these. He was lively and humorous to talk to people in any given circumstances and they liked him. If he was in the presence of them, the atmosphere was more interesting and enjoyable.

He listened to other people’s mind. He was willing to give his views and opinion for the satisfaction of everybody. At the same time, he respected opinion of others he found to have of value. He was ready to fight what he think is right. He did not care if he entered into disagreement with other people. If he thinks it is the right thing to do, he will protect and defend on it.

Whatever his strengths were his weaknesses also. If he is under stress for whatever reasons he can’t function well. He easily discouraged if he us under heavy stress. He can’t perform effectively. He was not a born leader. He was born follower. He worked well under strict supervision from someone on top. 

But if there is heavy pressure in his job function, something goes wrong along the lines. There were lapses in his performance. He was easily confused in the complex details of his work. It seemed he was slow learner to absorb specific instruction given to him especially if he has no idea how to do it. But if he knew very well, it gives him comfort and more effective in performing his duties.

He had low self-esteem. It needed to drive him hard before it can flicker his interest. If his self-esteem is high, he can do the job without or with little supervision. He had lack of courage to pursue if it gives him difficulties.

He needed someone to boost his morale. That was the reason why he was effective if he work in a group rather than working alone. He was more relax and confident that if something goes wrong at least the burden is not on himself alone. The group can give their support if he needed to something he can’t handle alone. Once in a group, the atmosphere was different compared to work singly. They can talk sensibly, jokingly and laughing together. This is the moment of interaction that later on will develop into a long lasting friendship.

YOUR CHANCE TO BE HAPPY

Happiness is a feeling of contentment. This satisfaction was there inside you. Your mood changes, your face shines, your eyes brightens. Your smiles has meaning, it lightens your good mood as if it is an eternal bliss.

How about those in grief for a long time? Do they still have a chance to be happy?

Living in this life was always being tried by so many barriers that blocked our chances to be happy. Trials, challenges, pains, heartaches, sorrows are only part of the many disturbing emotions that from time to time will come to us unexpected. We don't have peace of mind due to this emotional crisis. It hurts us so much. Our courage failed. This emotional problems conquered us, as if there's no life left in us.

You felt the sorrow when your career was gone, when your son died or when your wife leaved you with another man. Three cases of painful emotions testing your courage to cope with the pain. You were not thinking right, you were depressed and don't know where to go, who will you to turn to. Everything changes in you, your personality, your behavior. You have been skipping meals because your sorrow. Your stomach was full of emotional stress. Where all those happy days? Sometimes, this painful experiences make you decide by ending your life. You are not used in living alone. Being alone can remember your devastated life, your troubled thoughts, and your happiness that gone forever. It took you many years to recover from the painful tests in your life. During the time of your retreat, although your mind started to calmly rest, you ask yourself if you can still find your own happiness.

You can find your own happiness if you want to. You are the one controlling your life. It is easy to make a decision. Why prolong the pain when there's still chance to be happy? Let all those past memories to keep away in your mind and start a new life.

Find a new family to inspire you. Find them if you have the will. Find a new job to support you. Find friends to comfort you. Always have peace of mind and use all the remaining years of your life to feel happy and satisfied. Enlighten yourself by choosing what is best for you. Choosing to be happy is your best alternative. What happened before was a bad dream for you. Don't let yourself have another bad dream. Conquer it in your mind. Don't allow it to over-rule you.

Life are tests, expectations and heartaches. If your body is weak, this surprises will conquer you and your chance to be happy cannot be realized. Accept the reality. Don't bother yourself remembering your past memories and painful events that shattered you deeply. Go on and be happy. There is still happiness ahead if you only try. Get it and have it for your happiness.