WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT?

A child is very difficult to handle during her growing years. She often throw tantrum if she don't like something you give to her. If you tell her to clean-up, she immediately go into her room and disobey your instruction. Parents were holding their child delicately. Children's attitude was very hard to understand as well as not easy to supervise. If you explain to her about her manner, she will fight you. You cannot tell her what to do because she will not listen and heed what you said. Sometimes she will throw something she hold in her hand either glass or figurine. Her mood was changing every now and then and difficult to handle. If there is another child near her that she doesn’t like, she fought and hurt the other child.

There were two families at odds because they were defending their children even if both committed mistakes that should be corrected. Both parents were hesitant to discipline their children. They allowed their children to do things in a wrong way. This unpredictable attitude became the problem of the parents. They used all avenues of changing child's ways but prove fruitless. They were defenseless from the little angel of their home. Sometimes, she was in good mood but it will not last long.

There was a man whose attitude was terrible. His treatment to the people around him was different. He was difficult to handle when he has personal problem. He threw his rage to others even if it has no relation to his problem. He became overbearing and abusive. He became strict and don't listen to reason. He will not accept mistakes in the eyes of everyone. He was insistent and defensive whatever he had said. He doesn’t want to be corrected because he believed he is always right even if he was wrong. He can easily inflict pain to those caught during his changing mood. His children were afraid of him and had that fear in their eyes and keep away from his path of destruction. Even his wife was included in his abuse. Several times he was apprehended and put behind bars temporarily when he started hurting others. He never learned his lesson. His bad attitude was now his personality. The more he became terrible and disastrous if under the influence of alcohol. He became the problem of his family and relatives.

They believed that there was something missing in his brain. He cannot control his misbehavior. You can't tell him that may hurt his feeling. You can't talk to him properly. He can easily insult you if he doesn’t like you. That's the reason why he doesn't have friends around his place. They were afraid to be caught in his line of fire. They were cautious whatever they said because they knew that there was always a rebuttal if not handle properly. Due to his terrible behavior in the eyes of his family, his wife decided to leave him. His neighbors asked assistance from the priest and barangay chairman to pacify his feeling when he became wild but he did not respect them. He was furious upon knowing that his wife left him. Then something happened. He was in altercation with another man outside his house. He reacted immediately that causes the death of an innocent man. He was charged in court and was imprisoned several years to serve his sentence. His foolishness punished him. His terrible behavior stopped him when he was now behind bars.

No one knows if he is repenting what he had done to the man. Natural behavior cannot be change easily if he has no will for such a change.

If it happens to you, how will you handle the situation? One way to handle is to seek his weak points. If you can hit his vulnerabilities, then rejection can be reduced. There is a need to be flexible. Just in case it is not possible to talk to him now, try your luck another day but with tack.

Responding to difficult people need a lot of patience and sacrifice. It is a tough job especially if you feel hopeless and don't know how to respond. Just continue dealing with him properly. Maybe someday he is open to talk to you. Wait for the time when there is a change in his attitude in dealing with you, then show your points and hit him hard. If he insisted, don't force, leave him but don't give up.

A LASTING RELATIONSHIP

A happy relationship needs an investment of time and energy. They approached their relationship in harmony with their desire to have a lasting peace. The quality of a relationship depends on the way two people treat each other in good and bad times. They knew that the vitality of their love were their responsibility. Romance is the beginning of a lasting relationship. If they desire to develop a long-term commitment and contentment, then they have to protect it.

To care and show thoughtfulness can nurture the relationship at its best. It encompasses all the attitudes and deal with whatever challenges surfaced along the way. To be honest is a character that has an important role for a relationship to last. The couple entrusted their emotion, love and trust where love and respect valued as they are selfless and their commitment are strong.

Sometimes the elements that go into a happy marriage may seem elusive. There are challenges and difficulties. Flexibility, communication, determination to work through difficult times is enough to have a relationship in a solid ground. Unity of purpose, calm discussion of issues and coping with the challenge together can make a foundation of trust and companionship. It brings opportunities for them to grow beyond their natural abilities. Their combined efforts can create harmony and it will last for all times.

A genuine person adheres to moral principle and character. This is the core values of his life. Sincerity will allow them to break down the barriers of selfish motives. The deepest level of communication is only possible if they both open to each other completely and without any reservation.

Togetherness is needed for a lasting relationship. It measures their present and future happiness. They should continually find ways to enjoy each others company. If their faith is solid as a rock, there is no chance that it can be destroyed easily, it is always there standing in the test of time.

A truly happy couple understands that love means accepting mate's flaws. The person's desire to change will grow if he was accepted of what he is. Maintaining positive focus are qualities of character that poster lasting love.

THE ART OF GIVING

Do you remember once in your lifetime that you have done a righteous thing by way of giving? Do you remember the phrase, "It is better to give than to receive." Some of us did it differently. They give a little and wanted to receive more. They liked to own all of it and share less or not at all and that's greediness. They were only thinking of their own self-interest. It was hard for them to give even the excess of what they have in life.

But there are others who have a soft heart for the needy. They are willing to give even if it is only enough for their family. To those who have no desire to give did not fully understand that wealth is only a temporary material things they cannot hold forever. When they are gone, even a piece of paper they cannot bring it to their grave. Not even the wealth helps to put their life back when it is time to go for good.

Being a Samaritan is a behavior by heart. There was a wonderful feeling by just giving. It gives you pleasure. You cannot think of other things except what was in your mind is how you can help them in a simple way. This strange behavior only found in a privilege few. They were happy to give any little help for the benefit of others.

I know a friend whose life was hanging in a balance. He earned a little in his on and off job as carpenter. He had a family of three to support yet if someone asked him for help especially in emergencies he is willing to give. He helped him a little to share as a sign of concern, understanding and pity. I asked him why? He said it was already his habit to give. He believed there are still many people out there like him who has the same intention to help other people. He said he was more happy if those rich people can do the same. I was touched by his art of giving. Sometimes I felt guilty of not doing what he did. I now realized that those people who were gifted to give has less in life and also has their own suffering and problem to attend. He said he may not be rewarded today what good thing he had done to the lives of other men. But in the next life, he may be recognized for what he shared to others and that was already a blessing for him.

LOSING A BABY

It was painful to a mother to loss her baby. There were many reasons why a mother failed to protect the baby in her womb during her pregnancy. But this was not due to mother's fault. There were circumstances surrounding it beyond the control of the mother. One reason was the physical and physiological mechanism of the body holding the baby. It was not of the intention of the mother to harm her child unless the mother want to control its development.

In giving assurance to put the baby in good condition during his early development, it is imperative for the mother to refrain from doing an excessive or heavy physical activity during her time of pregnancy.

There are certain conditions how she can effectively do an exercise during her pregnancy period. The doctor is the only person who can help her. There are limitation and restriction that the mother had to strictly follow for the good health of her baby.

To give nourishment to the baby, it required her to eat healthy and nutritious food to sustain her during the 9th-month period. Eating fruits and vegetables can do a miracle to have a healthy baby.

The mother should give enough time to have a good bed rest. This will enable her body to recover from any inconveniences during her pregnancy. She should avoid taking restricted substances that may cause problem to the developing child. It is a risk taking drugs, alcohol, cigarettes or even caffeine. It can affects the condition of the fetus inside her womb.

It was the desire of every married couple to have a baby. A home is not complete without him. He became the inspiration of the parents who are working hard just for him. They will do what is necessary to bring their child to have a bright future.

Losing a baby was very painful for both parents to have that experience. The dream of having a good and happy family maybe gone. It was more painful knowing that the mother can no longer have the second child because of health complication. It is a risk for her life to have another one.

This was the reason why family differences occurred. The father lost interest to his wife knowing that she can no longer give another life.

Having a baby was an important tool to win back the relationship that had been strained due to the issue of having a child. If nature don't allow to have one, then they should be reasonable for the sake of their relationship. Sometimes destiny does not allow it to be altered what is predestine to happen. Maybe losing a baby has purpose. The purpose both parents doesn't know.

BEING A GRANDFATHER

During the day when you were raising your children the first day they were born until the time they begin walking their feet to the ground. You asked yourself what will be the future of this children when they grow up to become parents and have their own children. You have worries and doubts. Can their parenting is more effective for the children to be obedient to their parents?

Being a grandfather is a wonderful experience as you saw those cute little kids in your lap, holding, playing, running around you. You happiness was too overflowed thinking that your own children already grown up with their family and kids that were now in your lap. Your children were already successful in their career. You felt your triumph that all your sacrifices to raise them before it paid off. You can see in your own children obedience, respect, honesty, good virtue that you instituted to them to grow under your own kind of discipline. They settled down and became parents like you. You were contented seeing them as good parents to their children. You concluded that good parenting always has good children.

How about those who are still started having a grandchild. What will be their preparation as a grandparents?

-During the schedule visit of your son and his family, cancel all your appointment or any activities during the day and focus your attention in preparing for your grandson's arrival.

-When your grandson arrived, you were excited. You hold him tight, cuddled him using all your avenues to let him recognize you. First meeting was the hardest for you when your grandchild iwasnot yet familiar with your face. But repeated visit can put your grandson at ease and willing to be held and cuddled.

-Don't approach your grandson immediately. Just look at him and smile to develop confidence to you maybe a few hours you have to start approaching him. If he will respond, then hold him.

-Put him in your lap and show him your picture with your children and let him identify his parents and you. This is to established communication to your grandson.

-Playing is one of the effective way to put the child at ease. Play him a game he like and enjoy time with him.

-If you have a house pet like dog or cat, the more the child is interested and enjoy his visit. To continue an intimate relationship with your grandson, show him that you care and love him. In a matter of days there will be an improvement when your grandson started looking at you and approach you on his own.

YOUR CHANCE TO BE HAPPY

Happiness is a feeling of contentment. This satisfaction was there inside you. Your mood changes, your face shines, your eyes brightens. Your smiles has meaning, it lightens your good mood as if it is an eternal bliss.

How about those in grief for a long time? Do they still have a chance to be happy?

Living in this life was always being tried by so many barriers that blocked our chances to be happy. Trials, challenges, pains, heartaches, sorrows are only part of the many disturbing emotions that from time to time will come to us unexpected. We don't have peace of mind due to this emotional crisis. It hurts us so much. Our courage failed. This emotional problems conquered us, as if there's no life left in us.

You felt the sorrow when your career was gone, when your son died or when your wife leaved you with another man. Three cases of painful emotions testing your courage to cope with the pain. You were not thinking right, you were depressed and don't know where to go, who will you to turn to. Everything changes in you, your personality, your behavior. You have been skipping meals because your sorrow. Your stomach was full of emotional stress. Where all those happy days? Sometimes, this painful experiences make you decide by ending your life. You are not used in living alone. Being alone can remember your devastated life, your troubled thoughts, and your happiness that gone forever. It took you many years to recover from the painful tests in your life. During the time of your retreat, although your mind started to calmly rest, you ask yourself if you can still find your own happiness.

You can find your own happiness if you want to. You are the one controlling your life. It is easy to make a decision. Why prolong the pain when there's still chance to be happy? Let all those past memories to keep away in your mind and start a new life.

Find a new family to inspire you. Find them if you have the will. Find a new job to support you. Find friends to comfort you. Always have peace of mind and use all the remaining years of your life to feel happy and satisfied. Enlighten yourself by choosing what is best for you. Choosing to be happy is your best alternative. What happened before was a bad dream for you. Don't let yourself have another bad dream. Conquer it in your mind. Don't allow it to over-rule you.

Life are tests, expectations and heartaches. If your body is weak, this surprises will conquer you and your chance to be happy cannot be realized. Accept the reality. Don't bother yourself remembering your past memories and painful events that shattered you deeply. Go on and be happy. There is still happiness ahead if you only try. Get it and have it for your happiness.

FIRE PREVENTION AT HOME

Most of the fires that occurred in a certain place were due to the negligence of homeowners. Homeowners have to exercise caution and initiate fire prevention. Fire can kill, so homeowners should make their own fire drill.

-Make a routine habit to periodically check all electrical connections of your appliances for possible faulty wiring. Any defective parts should be replaced. If you have leaking gas stove, remove temporarily from your house and have it fix. Leaking gas can easily catch fire when it explodes.

-Keep matches, lighters away from your small children. There were fire accident caused by children playing matches at home unnoticed by parents igniting combustible materials(thinners, fluids) near the kitchen. Some of this fire accident originated from the room with flammable materials like bed, bedding, pillows and clothes.

-If you have unused leftover firecrackers remaining during Christmas Day and New Year's Day, remove it and store somewhere away from the house.

-If you are a smoker and you cannot afford to stop your habit, be cautious in throwing lighted cigarette. Put it out first before throwing it to the trash can. If not, have a glass container to put all your waste during the duration of your smoking hour and have it thrown in a proper place outside the house.

-Sell all those old newspapers and magazines stored somewhere in your house. This will be the breeding place of house pests (cockroaches, termites, ants, etc.) can easily catch fire. Remove all combustible materials inside and around the house like empty liquor bottles, paints, thinners, etc.). They are dangerous precedent to fire.

-Check all faulty wiring, defective switches in your electrical connection. If possible, let your electrician do the re-wiring. It is most safe if you install open re-wiring outside the ceiling and walling. Any faulty wires eaten by termites or house rats cannot be detected if placed inside the ceiling and walling. For those who plan to construct their wooden house, all wiring should be placed inside a plastic tube before its installation.

-Put a reminder in red ink in your kitchen, living room especially near the appliances, home theater system to unplug connection after use.

-Teach your family about the basic concept of fire prevention especially irresponsible children who liked to play fire inside the house. Parents should monitor their children activities. In case a fire break out, they already knew what to do. Train them to safeguard your home from fire and be responsible children.

-Many cases of fire came from using candles and lighted kerosene lamp due to brown-out. Blow the light out before going to bed. Practice your children to sleep in the dark.

-Have fire extinguisher. Place it in your living room near the kitchen. If you can afford to have more than one, then its better.